5 Steps to a Happy Life with Positive Attitude
Step 1: Believe Happiness is a Choice
For me, this was a
hard one at first. I thought that people were either unhappy or happy
(and I was one of the unhappy ones). I used to blame this on all kinds
of outside forces –- fate, experiences, parents, relationships –- but
never really stopped to think that I could choose to be happy.
Sure, this isn’t
always easy, but it is always, always an option. Teaching myself to see
that happiness is a choice has been one of the greatest things I’ve ever
done for myself.
Now when I find
myself in a bad situation, I know that it’s up to me to find the good,
to be happy regardless of what’s happening around me. I am no longer
pointing fingers, placing blame. I realize that everything happens how
it happens and it’s up to me to choose how I want to feel about it. I am
in control of my happiness level and no one can take that away from me.
Step 2.Rid Your Life of Negativity.
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If you want to live a positive, joyful and happy life, you cannot –- absolutely CANNOT -– be surrounded by negative people who are not encouraging your happiness. When I was a pretty negative person, I tended to attract other negative people.
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When I decided to make the change to live a more positive life, I had to rid my life of all of the negative people in it. This, as you can imagine, wasn’t easy. Getting rid of people hurts -– even when you know they aren’t good for you or your current lifestyle.
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Not only did I have to get rid of the negative people, but I also had to get rid of the negative things too. I had to stop doing certain things that were causing negativity in my life. I had to take a step back and examine which behaviors were good for me and which were not.
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I learned to focus on the positive things I was doing and let go of the negative ones. This process was not easy and to be honest, is still ongoing, but I know this: having negativity in your life prevents you from living a truly positive existence.
Step 3. Look For the Positive in Life
There is the positive
aspect in everything. In every person, in every situation, there is
something good. Most of the time it’s not all that obvious. We have to
look. And sometimes we have to look hard.
The old me just sat back
and allowed things to happen by default. If I saw negative, I went with
that feeling. I didn’t want to look harder or think too much about the
good. I found it much, much easier to sit back and just accept what I
saw (which was usually the bad).
Now, when I’m faced with a
difficult or challenging situation, I think to myself, “What is good
about this?” No matter how terrible the situation might seem, I always
can find something good if I take the time to think about it.
Everything –- good and bad -– is a learning experience. So, at the very
least, you can learn from bad experiences. However, there’s usually even
more to it than that. If you really take the time to look, you will
usually find something good, something really positive, about every
person or situation.
Step 4. Reinforce Positivity in Yourself
Once I started thinking
more positively and adapted to a more positive attitude, I realized I
had to reinforce these thoughts and behaviors in myself so they would
stick. As with any sort of training, practice makes perfect, and, yes,
you can practice being positive.
The best and easiest way
to do this is to be positive when it comes to who you are. Tell yourself
you’re awesome. Tell yourself you look good. Tell yourself that you
love and accept yourself completely. Tell yourself you did an awesome
job at work or raising your kids or whatever it is you do.
Be honest with yourself,
but do your best to look for the good. And, whatever you do, don’t focus
on the negative. Nothing good can come of telling yourself that your
butt’s too big or your latest career goal wasn’t met.
It’s okay to not like
everything about yourself (yet), but don’t spend energy dwelling on the
negative. Remind yourself of the good in you. We all have positive
attributes and it’s up to you to remind yourself of them every day.
Step 5. Share Happiness with Others
FNot only do you need to
be positive with yourself for this new positive attitude to really take
effect, you also need to be positive with others. You have to share your
wealth of positivity with the world.
The best way I’ve found to
do this is quite simple and basic: be nice. Be nice to other people, no
matter what. Tell someone he or she looks nice today. Tell someone they
did a great job on that presentation. Tell your parents or children (or
both!) how much you love them and how great they are.
When someone is feeling
down, do what you can to cheer him or her up. Send flowers. Write notes.
Don’t gossip. Be kind to all living things. All of these things sound
basic enough, but, for someone like me, they didn’t used to come easily.
In the past, I didn’t
wanted to see the good in myself and, therefore, didn’t want to see it
in others either. I used to be critical and condescending. Now I strive
to be encouraging and supportive. I try not only to treat others, as I
would like to be treated, but also to consider how they would like to be
treated.
People appreciate
positivity and the more you are sharing it with others, the more you are
practicing it and reinforcing it in your own life.
Parting Words on the Positive Attitude Habit
When you start feeling
like the idea of being a positive person is daunting, tell yourself
this: “If someone who really used to struggle with a negative attitude,
turned her life around with these five steps, then I can too!”
If anyone had told me a
few years ago that I would be writing an article about developing a
positive attitude and living a happy life, I would have laughed right in
their face. I would have said, “Why in the world would someone want me
to write about positivity?”
But here I am, writing
this post, believing in these words, and knowing that every single day I
am getting closer and closer to living the happy life I’ve secretly
dreamed of living. If I can do it, you can do it. Believe in yourself
and remember the most important lesson of all… a positive outlook is a
choice. Choose to be positive. Choose to be happy. Life is short.
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